INTRODUCED TO HIS KIDS, THEN DUMPED

Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. In truth, it’s been a stop-start kind of relationship, due to him having two children with his ex, and then Covid hit.

However, I thought we were in it for the long-haul and I got to know his kids, who are adorable. So I was stunned when he told me a couple of weeks ago that he didn’t think it was working and suggested I moved out of his place, but there was no rush.

I moved out last week and now I feel very angry and resentful that he led me to believe he was committed – even introducing me to his children.

I can’t help feeling I was just a convenient distraction until someone better came along.

How can I possibly mend my broken heart?

Coleen says

Ouch! Well, it will take time, so don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better. It’s OK to wallow, cry, scream into a pillow, offload to your friends and let it all out.

Of course you’re going to feel hurt and angry.

It sounds to me as if the relationship never really got off the ground properly for a lot of different reasons, but it was still three years of your life and you were invested in him and his children.

It can be very hard when you also have to end relationships with a partner’s children and other family members.

You don’t say how old his kids are – if they’re grown up, you could keep a connection, even just on social media. But it’s obviously harder (probably impossible) if they’re young.

It doesn’t sound like your ex was ever fully committed but, the upside of this is you’ve found this out now rather than a couple of years down the line when you’d be even more invested in the relationship.

Life is opening up now, so get out there, see your friends, enjoy life and there will be someone out there who’s better for you.