Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
MUM’S GRIEF
A WOMAN who lost her husband and two children in a car crash last year has told how “every second of every minute of every hour, I’m heartbroken”.
But brave Geraldine Mullan has revealed she has returned to the water, which she described as the “thief ” that had taken so much from her.
The widow now regularly swims and says it helps bring her closer to her family just over a year on from the tragedy.
On August 20 last year her husband John, son Tomas and daughter Amelia drowned when their car plunged into Lough Foyle at Quigley’s Point, Co Donegal.
The family had enjoyed a day out in Derry but tragedy struck when their car left the road as they returned home.
Geraldine survived by standing on top of the vehicle before being rescued.
She was on a week’s leave from work while John – who was two weeks away from turning 50 – had taken time off from his garden centre business to enjoy a day with the kids.
Yesterday Geraldine recalled the last day they had together as they went bowling, to the cinema and had dinner.
She said: “I have nothing but beautiful memories of the four of us laughing and joking and planning our days ahead, what we were going to do and everything as I would say was now idyllic until the night on our way home.
“And unfortunately we never got home that night.”
When Geraldine was rescued by Kevin Barr of the Coast Guard that night, she pleaded with him to let her go because she knew her husband, son and daughter were gone.
The oncology nurse told Miriam O’callaghan on RTE Radio One: “I’ll admit there was a time I didn’t want him to hold onto me because I knew I had lost everything.
“I knew by the time help had come that unfortunately it was not going to be a rescue.
“It was just going to be a search rescue – John, Tomas and Amelia’s bodies.
“So at one point I just asked him to let me go and Kevin held onto me and apologised and said, ‘Geraldine I can’t let you go’.”
She hailed the emergency services for getting her husband and children’s bodies back so she could give them a send-off.
I have nothing but beautiful memories of the four of us GERALDINE MULLAN ON THEIR LAST DAY TOGETHER
PASSED
Tomas, 14, held his six-year-old sister in his arms until they passed away.
Geraldine said: “He minded her right until the end.
“It’s hard when I close my eyes, I have nothing but beautiful pictures around my house of John, Tomas and Amelia and in the majority of the ones of Tomas and Amelia, she’s in his arms. That’s where she was right up until the end so the way I look at it, John’s now minding the two of them and they’re minding their dad until it’s my time.”
Just two months after the tragedy, the devastated mum of two returned to the water to begin swimming.
She admits some may not understand but she insisted the water could not have any control over her.
The brave mum said: “I suppose I deal with things in a different way.
“Some people probably think I’m crazy
– there’s no right or wrong way in what way I deal with my grief.
“For me, I’ve lost so much. And the water was the thief, and the night in question, it took absolutely everything from me.
“But I didn’t want it to be something that had more control over me.”
Living in Moville in Donegal, she is surrounded by beaches where she has so many memories, including her first date with the love of her life John.
When she first went into the water following the crash, she said it was difficult but she is now part of a swimming club which plays an active role in her life. Geraldine explained: “In October [last year] and with the guidance of my brother Henry, I decided I would just face my fear head on.
“That first day was horrendous. There was tears and there was crying and flashbacks but I also did it for John, Tomas and Amelia.”
In the months that followed, she revealed the water helped her to heal.
She said: “A very good friend of mine Cathy was involved in a local swimming group so she got me involved so now I’m part of an amazing group of women.
“For me, the water is healing of the soul. When I close my eyes I think of John, Tomas and Amelia and the good times we had in the water or family days out or holidays by the sea. I swim for them as much as I do for myself.
“When I step into the water, I leave my worries at the shore.
“Every second of every minute of every hour, I’m heartbroken and that’s not going to change but when I get into the water I just feel closer to John and the kids.”
Geraldine returned to work last February in Letterkenny University Hospital.
She told how she gets as much from the patients as she gives to them and is grateful of the support from her colleagues.
But going to and from work, she has to drive by the scene of that night.
She said: “Some days are tough, because my route to work invariably brings me past our scene and brings me back on the way home, so I’ve triggers on the way to work and I’ve triggers on the way home.” John’s garden centre is now a community hub, with farmer’s markets and youth clubs where an event will be held in memory of her loved ones this Friday, for what would have been Amelia’s eighth birthday.
The details for the event, Amelia’s Glad Rags for Hope, can be found on the Hope Facebook page: www. facebook.com/themullanhope.