SON’S GIRLFRIEND IS NOT RIGHT FOR HIM

I’m worried about my son, who’s 17, because I don’t think his girlfriend is right for him. They met online during the lockdowns and became very close.

Recently, she came to stay with us for a few days, as she lives 70 miles away, and I didn’t take to her at all. She’s 18, so a bit older than he is, and very demanding and controlling.

While she was here, she didn’t lift a finger to help out and didn’t seem to care whether we liked her or not!

He also gave into her all the time, even though he’s usually very confident and sure of what he wants.

What should I do? I think she’s got an unhealthy hold over him and I don’t want it to affect his self-esteem.

OK, just playing devil’s advocate here, will anyone be good enough for your son?

If you can honestly say this isn’t about you, and you have a good relationship with your son, then it’s OK to ask him why he follows her around like a puppy.

And remind him that if he doesn’t want to do something, he needs to speak up. You might get told to back off, in which case you’ll just have to watch it go one way or the other and be there to pick up the pieces if it doesn’t work out.

But I don’t think you should tell him, or her, that you don’t like her.

My kids have had partners I haven’t taken to. I think I may have dropped into conversation something along the lines of: “She’s quite bossy, though, isn’t she?” But you know what, none of my children stayed with people they were with when they were 17.

However, even if they had, I would never interfere because who they date is their choice. And I wouldn’t want to lose any of my kids over it.