Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
I struggled with my mental health after becoming a dad
Stephen Manderson, aka rapper Professor Green, on parenting pressures, swapping nightclubs for nappies and why men need to talk
He’s performed for tens of thousands of people at music festivals and shows around the world, and recently has been testing his nerve to the limit on BBC’S Freeze the Fear with Wim Hof.
But Stephen Manderson, otherwise known as rapper Professor Green, says nothing in life has scared him more than fatherhood.
“Whether it’s to my detriment or not, I’d never felt truly scared until I became a dad,” says Stephen, 38, whose model and actress partner Karima Mcadams, 37, gave birth to their son Slimane in March last year. “We had a scary pregnancy – so when he arrived and was healthy and well it was the best thing in the world. Pregnancy is wild. Each one of us here is a miracle because it’s not a given.”
New dad Stephen – who has had four UK top 10 singles, including the chart-topping Read All About It with Emeli Sande – lost his own father to suicide in 2008 when he was 24. The pair had been estranged for many years.
“It takes two people to even change a nappy – so I have nothing but respect for single parents,” he says. “Not least of all because I was raised by my grandmother more or less single-handedly.
“My dad wasn’t that present when I was a kid, so I always wanted to be hands-on when I had a child of my own. I didn’t have that example – someone to go to or learn from.” He says this has led him to question his own parenting.
“For a lot of men who haven’t had present fathers, who haven’t had that role model, there are concerns – what am I doing? How do I do it? Am I going to do it right?” he says. “I think a lot of men get scared.”
But becoming a dad has given him a new perspective on his own father. “I didn’t know my dad as well as I would have liked, but knowing the person he was, he would have definitely enjoyed fatherhood more than he got the chance to,” says Stephen. The star has talked openly about his mental health and says he has faced challenges since becoming a dad.
“I struggled after Slimane was born. Not least of all because it brought up a lot of stuff to do with my past,” explains Stephen.
“The self-doubt is huge. There’s such pressure some of us put on ourselves to be the perfect parent – when there’s actually no such thing. And really, that pressure is going to hinder you from being as engaged and as present as you could be.
“But it’s hard not to worry, because you care so much about this little thing you’ve been gifted.” To help both his own mental health and that of other new dads, Stephen created The Unlikely Dads Club (@theunlikely dadsclub) on Instagram after Slimane was born.
There, he shares candid photos and updates about the ups and downs of parenthood. The account has over 68,000 followers.
“I wanted to remind people that they’re not going through things alone. I think dads feel most things mums feel, just without vocalising them. And it’s time we should.
“I think that with men having the space to be more open and more honest, perhaps there won’t be as many separations.
“We can feel guilt for feeling or saying that we’re struggling.”
I’ve met Stephen before, at a swanky music bash. This time however, he’s chatting via Zoom as the face of Pampers. It’s quite the U-turn, I tell him – and he laughs.
“Listen, all those late nights definitely prepared me for the sleepless nights with a newborn,” he says. “I’ve always been one to get my hands dirty. Always one to muck in. But I’ve been on the receiving end of a one-year-old’s nappy now, and I’m not ashamed to say I’ve screamed.
“Being a dad – it’s the most challenging, but most rewarding thing. What’s the saying? Nothing good comes easy, nothing easy comes good.”
There’s such pressure to be the perfect parent when there’s no such thing
Professor Green has joined forces with Pampers to celebrate the launch of their new Stop & Protect Pocket on their Pampers Baby Dry Nappy Pants. Visit pampers.co.uk/ products/pampers-baby-dry-pants