Let’s do this together

Little Miss Always Late To Class had me in a teacher’s meeting on the first Monday afternoon of the new term.

I glumly walked up to school like a teenager, knuckles dragging, as if it was me in hot water rather than The Dark Lord, who treats morning registration as optional and her strict class timetable like they’re suggested times.

Honestly, I do my best to chivvy her along, but the best way I can describe TDL is someone who has her “feet firmly planted in the clouds”. She’s a bit of a dreamer and treats the 24-hour clock like it’s only for the rest of us drones.

Just as I turned the corner by the school, I bumped into TDL. She shivered as she spoke. “Brrrr. Oh there you are, Mother. You’re late.” Which was a bit of a cheek coming from her. I looked at my phone.

“No they said 10 past, so you’re early, for once. Why aren’t you wearing your school jumper? It’s flipping Baltic!”

I was back in my winter coat as the chill wind whistled around us, while TDL stood there in just a thin blazer and grubby white shirt.

Then I looked around at the hundreds of kids all streaming out of the school gates – not a single one of them was in their grey jumper.

TDL explained apologetically: “Nobody dares wear the school jumper once it’s no longer compulsory.”

“But this is still jumper weather,” I said, aghast at their collective absurdity. “You’re like lemmings but more stupid.”

Changing the subject, TDL grinned: “First day back and nobody noticed my eyebrow piercing.”

I peered at the small, clear plastic bobble on her left eyebrow hidden under the mop of dark curly hair and told her: “That’s because it looks like a wart.”

“Oh thanks, Mother,” she said, rolling her eyes, but still looking a bit too smug for my liking.

Now we’re on Piercing Watch, which is a bit like Spring Watch but all the wildlife drama is in TDL’S caterpillar-like bushy eyebrows. How many days will TDL make it until a teacher spots the offending piercing? Surely a little birdie will tell them…

Email siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.

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