HIS FAT BODY IS TURNING ME OFF

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married to my husband for 14 years and he’s got so overweight that I no longer find him physically attractive.

He has a very stressful job and goes to the pub several nights a week. He often eats takeaways and huge family bags of sweets. He has stashes of them in his car and pockets.

I’ve tried telling him it’s not good for his health but he’s so stressed with everything else I feel bad for criticising him. But now I’m starting to not want sex with him.

We’re only in our mid-30s and I feel like we should still have a sex life, but he’s so overweight I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I tell him it’s because I’m tired looking after our kids but it’s not that at all. How can I tell him the truth without hurting his feelings?

Coleen says

Instead of broaching this by telling him the truth, you could go in on the health aspect.

Sit him down and tell him that you’re seriously worried about his health. Tell him that the kids need an active, healthy father who can run around with them for years to come. But you’re worried that the way he’s going, he’ll have a massive heart attack before he’s 40 (especially if he’s got a stressful job).

Not only that, but he’s also risking diabetes and all sorts of other illnesses by being so overweight.

Then, gently tell him the other thing is, the more weight he’s gaining, the less you’re finding him attractive. Say you don’t expect him to be on the cover of Men’s Health with a six-pack, but for the sake of his health, the kids and your sex life, he needs to cut back on the junk food and do some exercise.

Tell him how much the kids would love it if he could play football and run around in the park with them.

His body won’t cope with this for ever. He may get mad but he needs to face up to things.