Daily Mirror - - DEARCOLEEN -

Dear Coleen

I’ve been mar­ried to my hus­band for 14 years and he’s got so over­weight that I no longer find him phys­i­cally at­trac­tive.

He has a very stress­ful job and goes to the pub sev­eral nights a week. He of­ten eats take­aways and huge fam­ily bags of sweets. He has stashes of them in his car and pock­ets.

I’ve tried telling him it’s not good for his health but he’s so stressed with ev­ery­thing else I feel bad for crit­i­cis­ing him. But now I’m start­ing to not want sex with him.

We’re only in our mid-30s and I feel like we should still have a sex life, but he’s so over­weight I just can’t bring my­self to do it.

I tell him it’s be­cause I’m tired look­ing af­ter our kids but it’s not that at all. How can I tell him the truth with­out hurt­ing his feel­ings?

Coleen says

In­stead of broach­ing this by telling him the truth, you could go in on the health as­pect.

Sit him down and tell him that you’re se­ri­ously wor­ried about his health. Tell him that the kids need an ac­tive, healthy fa­ther who can run around with them for years to come. But you’re wor­ried that the way he’s go­ing, he’ll have a mas­sive heart at­tack be­fore he’s 40 (es­pe­cially if he’s got a stress­ful job).

Not only that, but he’s also risk­ing di­a­betes and all sorts of other ill­nesses by be­ing so over­weight.

Then, gen­tly tell him the other thing is, the more weight he’s gain­ing, the less you’re find­ing him at­trac­tive. Say you don’t ex­pect him to be on the cover of Men’s Health with a six-pack, but for the sake of his health, the kids and your sex life, he needs to cut back on the junk food and do some ex­er­cise.

Tell him how much the kids would love it if he could play football and run around in the park with them.

His body won’t cope with this for ever. He may get mad but he needs to face up to things.

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