A Wright idiot is the one in Dyer straits

Danny is in the biggest soap on the planet while Mark is in a yoghurt ad, which most peo­ple fast for­ward

Daily Mirror - - POLLYHUDSON -

IT’S al­ways im­por­tant to ob­jec­tively con­sider both sides in a dis­pute – and then be on Danny Dyer’s.

With all due im­par­tial­ity, any­one who’s Team Wright is wrong. End of.

That was ob­vi­ous be­fore even hear­ing what had hap­pened – in much the same way that you don’t need full de­tails be­fore de­cid­ing whether to root for good or evil.

But ac­tu­ally, the de­tails here aren’t ex­actly mind­chang­ing. In a mod­ern tale of celebrity feud­ing, Danny Dyer and Mark Wright have been trad­ing barbs on Twit­ter af­ter some kind of is­sue at a char­ity football match.

There was then an al­ter­ca­tion be­tween Danny and some of Mark’s friends back­stage at V Fes­ti­val, but it was a to­tally fair fight… well, as long as it’s Mark do­ing the maths, so five is equal to one.

It also took place in front of Danny’s daugh­ter, which re­ally shows the mea­sure of the so-called men. Danny in­sisted he still went on to have “a proper night” although his fi­ancee ad­mit­ted: “I’ve waited nine months to see Justin Bieber and this has ru­ined it.”

Danny Dyer is in­cred­i­bly self­aware – he knows ex­actly who he is, and the joke is al­ways with, rather than on, him. He’s down-to-earth, de­spite hav­ing been fa­mous for two decades. He’s cur­rently in the biggest soap in the coun­try, which most peo­ple watch. Mark Wright is cur­rently in a yoghurt ad­vert, which most peo­ple fast for­ward.

Only one of these men should have an ego and be throw­ing his weight around. But in­stead it’s the other who has the ego, and is throw­ing his mates’ weight around.

Danny Dyer is school­ing Mark Wright here, not just on bul­ly­ing, but also on how to be a star. And as usual, Mark Wright isn’t lis­ten­ing. He’s al­ways been un­grate­ful. He wanted to be fa­mous for years, des­per­ately rid­ing the coat­tails of Jade Goody’s bloke Jack Tweed and flog­ging two-minute re­la­tion­ships with lit­tle-known glamour models. Then fi­nally, against all odds, his dream came true – cour­tesy of TOWIE, where the only re­quire­ment was that he be him­self, some­thing he was ca­pa­ble of do­ing fairly well most of the time. Rather than think­ing, “Bril­liant! I’m where I’ve al­ways wanted to be! I can’t believe my luck!” Mark churl­ishly quit, be­liev­ing he – with all his ta­lent – could do bet­ter. The TV pro­grammes he made next were axed or never even aired. He’s now a lo­cal ra­dio DJ. If it wasn’t for Michelle Kee­gan – who could do much bet­ter, so need­less to say – Mark Wright would have dis­ap­peared by this point… if he couldn’t beg his way back into TOWIE that is. But when two celebs get mar­ried, their fame dou­bles, so un­for­tu­nately he’s still around, just about. This kind of mess proves why he shouldn’t be. He has no class, no charm, no show­biz pizazz. He’s just hair­spray, teeth whitener and tight trousers. How dare he. Team Dyer ‘til I die.

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