MY EX WANTS US TO BE FRIENDS

Dear Coleen

I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago. It wasn’t my decision and I’ve struggled with the split ever since. He is very keen for us to stay friends, but it’s just too painful for me. Whenever we talk or see each other, I end up crying myself to sleep.

I’m now trying to change my routines so we don’t see each other as much – we’re both in our final year at the same university.

Recently, he’s been hanging around with another girl a lot, which is hard for me to see. Some of our friends have also “taken sides”, which is disappointing, so I’m trying to just focus on my studies as it’s a crucial year.

What’s your advice?

Coleen says

Your instincts are right. It’s far too soon for you to be friends with your ex. It’s easier for him because he was the one who wanted to end the relationship and it sounds as if he’s already moved on with another girl.

I’ve been on both sides of this and, in time, I think it is possible to be friends, but a couple of months isn’t long enough if you’re the injured party.

I know it’s hard if you’re at the same uni, but try not to be in his company because constantly being around him will make it harder for you to move on. And focus on your real mates – the ones who aren’t taking sides.

It’ll hurt for a while, but you will start to feel better and, when you meet someone else, you won’t give your ex a second thought.