I CAN’T STAND MY MOANING AWFUL HUBBY

Dear Coleen

I have been married for three months and I already can’t stand him. We have been together for about 12 years and have had an on-off relationship.

To cut a long story short, when we met we both had a daughter each from previous relationships, then went on to have four kids together.

We lived together for a short time – maybe a year – but after that I lived on my own with the kids, which is how I like it.

We finally got hitched and moved in together and all he does is complain, insult me and leave me with no money. I literally can’t stand him. He says that if I leave him I won’t find anyone else because I have too much baggage.

Coleen says Well, that’s a load of rubbish. My friend had seven kids when she left her husband and still ended up meeting the man of her dreams and having another child with him.

Look, if you meet the right person, no amount of so-called baggage is going to stop either of you. What’s more, most people of a certain age have baggage in the form of ex-partners and children.

I certainly wouldn’t stay in a toxic marriage just because you might not meet anyone else, plus you’ve admitted you were happy when it was just you and the kids.

Don’t be afraid of calling it a day. It sounds as if you married because you felt you should rather than because you wanted to. Or perhaps you thought things would be better if you were married and living together and now you’ve realised they’re not.

I’ve known couples who were together for many years before getting married, and then divorced in the first year because they realised a piece of paper wasn’t going to suddenly make them want the same things or repair any problems in their relationship.