SISTER’S EX IS THE OBJECT OF MY DESIRE

Dear Coleen

I’m a 20-year-old girl and have an older sister of 28. I really, really like her ex-boyfriend, who’s 27.

I don’t believe he likes me in that way though, and I don’t think he’s aware of my crush on him.

They were only teenagers when they dated and broke up more than 10 years ago. I don’t think they have any feelings for each other any more, but I can’t be sure.

The other thing is, he is really close to my eldest sister, who’s 37, but in more of a mother-son way. He is always at her house, as am I, and that’s how I see him a lot.

We don’t really engage in conversations together though.

How do I let go of these feelings – or could I act on them without feeling terrible? Is the age gap so big I shouldn’t even think about it?

Coleen says

I don’t think the age gap is the issue here. You say you don’t think he’s interested in you, so is it worth going down that route because it might end up causing problems between you and your sister?

You’re only 20 and there are plenty of great guys out there – why pick on your sister’s ex, who is still hanging out with your other sister, despite him being 10 years younger. It all sounds too close to home to me.

Don’t make things complicated when they don’t have to be.

And even if it turned out that he did fancy you and you started dating, there would always be that link with your sister.

If it’s confusing you, then I’d suggest not going round to see your eldest sister when he’s there.