I CAN’T GET OVER HIS BETRAYAL

Dear Coleen

My partner of 20 years has told me he’s been seeing another woman. I was devastated, but he says he’s been a fool and wants to be with me. However, I can’t get the thought of them together out of my head.

He has told me so many lies. He’s not a nice person when he drinks and says a lot of nasty things, but sober he’s lovely.

My daughter doesn’t like him and refuses to talk to him.

I’ve asked him to take me out, but he’d rather spend time with friends – it’s as if I don’t exist.

I just don’t know what to do. The other woman has told him it’s her or me. He says he wants to be with me, but deep down I know he doesn’t.

Coleen says

And you’re with him because? I’m with your daughter here – I’ve never even met this guy but it’s clear he’s a player and wants the best of both worlds.

He’s not ready to make a choice between you and this other woman because he’s managing both quite nicely, thank you very much, and obviously doesn’t care who gets hurt in the process.

Even if he did choose you, are you going to be able to forgive him for what he did and could you trust him again? What about when he bumps into another woman who takes his fancy after a few pints?

You need to get tough with him and tough with yourself too.

He’s not making any effort – he’s just saying what he thinks you want to hear. He hasn’t given up this woman, he’s not spending any time with you and he’s doing nothing to prove to you that you can trust him.

You know he’s not committed and deep down I think you know the sensible thing to do would be to walk away.