Milking this drama isn’t beyond our Ken

Spare a thought for last year’s winner of The Voice, Kevin Simm. He was asked by a fan if he’d be performing on the ITV show’s final at the weekend, as has been the case with previous winners.

“No,” he posts. “Unfortunately I missed the season where they go on to support you afterwards.”

Ouch!

There was some good news for poor old Ken Barlow on Coronation Street last night. He’s not dead.

That wasn’t such great news for Corrie’s PR department though.

Well, Who Tried To Kill Ken? is not half as catchy as Who Killed Ken?

It also means that Britain’s army of social media japesters have had to put their Corrie/ South Park “Oh my God, they killed Kenny!” mash-ups in the recycle bin. Still, at least we have the makings of yet another cracking storyline from the recently revitalised cobbles. I particularly love the way Bill Roache has been talking this one up as some kind of mafia-style attempt to overthrow the head NOT DEAD Ken after stairs fall of Weatherfield’s power family. Putting Bill’s Ken Barleone flights of fancy aside for one second, I have but two wishes for this (nearly) murder mystery.

One, that Pat Phelan wasn’t the one who showed Ken the quickest route down a flight of stairs the other night.

And two, that Corrie doesn’t drag things out like EastEnders did with its Who Killed Lucy Beale? epic. I mean, I know Pat will get his comeuppance one day, I’m just not ready to lose him or his evil ways yet.

As for that second wish, I’m really hoping that the big reveal will come when Corrie goes nightly during Britain’s Got Talent’s live week in May (assuming that’s happening again this year, obviously).

I swear I have no inside info on the culprit but if I had my way the guilty party would be one of the Barlow clan – preferably one that we could readily afford to lose. Sorry, Adam. Or Daniel.