Dele gets key to the adored
I WANT to take Dele Alli back to his sixth birthday to give him the perfect present for his 21st.
On the morning he ripped the paper off his Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets LEGO playset, 15 years ago, the nation was having a breakdown over David Beckham breaking a metatarsal during a Champions League game against Deportivo La Coruna.
Prime Minister Tony Blair took time out of a Cabinet meeting, on the Middle East crisis, to say: “Nothing was more important to England’s arrangements for the World Cup than the state of David Beckham’s foot.”
Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith officially wished him a speedy recovery (contrasting hugely with his current attitude to people on crutches who can’t work) and Kevin Carlyon, the high priest of British white witches, prepared a powerful healing crystal to help Beckham recover in time for Japan.
He did make it to the World Cup where Sven’s men got knocked out in the usual quarter-final stage. This is England, Dele. This is what happens to the latest golden boy. So ignore all that guff about you being better at 21 than Beckham, Gerrard and Lampard combined, accept that soon you may be unfairly shouldering a deluded nation’s hopes, and realise it’s too impossible to be taken seriously.
And just be yourself.
DIEGO COSTA was bitterly disappointed when Chelsea stopped his January move to Chinese club Tianjin Quanjian for a salary of £600,000 a week. Back then his people were spinning that it was not about the money, but because he “hates English football and hates the FA”. With that offer still on the table, Costa is making noises again about his current discontent. But he’s moved on from hating English football to hating London. One of the most cosmopolitan and vibrant cities in the world, although not in the same class as Tianjin. Obviously. Maybe it’s time to update Samuel Johnson’s observation about the capital to: “A man who is tired of London is tired of being blocked from a £30million-a-year job”, and free Costa from his misery.