SOMEONE COMES BETWEEN US

Dear Coleen

My partner and I have been arguing a lot lately. It’s always the same third party who is involved.

I’ve told my partner I’m not happy about this person being so involved in our lives, but he doesn’t seem to care – they’re always the topic of conversation and everywhere I turn.

I’m really starting to lose my patience now, but I don’t want to seem like I’m being jealous and childish.

However, I believe there are certain things in a relationship that shouldn’t be shared with other people and ought to be kept between the two of you.

Am I being petty and jealous?

Dear Coleen

OK, you don’t specify who this third person is – a female friend or a mother-in-law? It’s clearly someone who’s important in your partner’s life, so rather than throwing down the gauntlet, saying you don’t want him to have anything to do with them, try to agree on some boundaries.

It’s fair enough to insist that your partner doesn’t share private or intimate information and it’s fair to not have this person in your lives 24/7.

Try to have a sensible discussion with him about why you feel jealous or threatened.

The bottom line is, you feel like there are three of you in the relationship and that wasn’t the deal.