Sham ‘personality’ hides the real May
IT’S a funny old election strategy to choose... Theresa May is fighting this contest on personality. In the full and certain knowledge she doesn’t have one.
And how can we be sure she hasn’t? That jacket. The one she was wearing this week for her walkabout round Oxfordshire.
And it’s not just the picnic blanket jacket. It’s those dreadful leopardskin shoes, the leather trousers, the Billy Connolly cast-off suit...
And no, this isn’t sexist. If our PM was a fella in a Tweetie Pie tie or red chinos I’d be saying it too.
Because Theresa May is like a man in a novelty tie – someone clinging to the belief that a wacky item of clothing can hide a total absence of personality. It can’t. In all her recent interviews and speeches it is virtually impossible to discover anything interesting about Mrs May.
In fact, it’s difficult to discover anything at all.
Broadchurch or Line of Duty? she was asked at the weekend. “I haven’t watched either,” she replied.
Whisky or wine? “Depends on the circumstances.”
Indian or Chinese? “I don’t buy takeaways”. (Which isn’t just an annoying answer, it’s frankly weird).
Last supper on Earth? “I haven’t got a menu.”
Key books in your life? “Cookery books mean a lot to me.”
For goodness sake... You do not want this woman on your team in Family Fortunes.
And when we do tease out a few pearls...
Favourite book: Pride and Prejudice. Favourite building: Houses of Parliament Favourite flower: English rose Favourite film: Casablanca. But don’t worry, she is craaazy really: Greatest extravagance? Shoes. Of course. And it’s not that I’ve got anything against roses or Pride and Prejudice or Casablanca. It’s just that they’re so entirely predictable it’s hard to believe she has any real passion for any of them. Or anything. But why does our PM’s personality and passion (or lack of ) matter, I hear you grumble. Well, chiefly because she is putting it at the forefront of this campaign. The toxicity of the word ‘Conservative’ means it is being airbrushed from public life – even the Tory tour bus just has a ginormous Theresa May signature (or do I mean autograph?) on it. In contrast, Labour’s bus is all slogan and no mention of Mr Corbyn (but let’s save that thorny issue for another day). Secondly, it matters because if we are confronted with a wannabe leader with neither personality nor passion, there can be only one thing guiding them – political opportunism. Political opportunism which made Theresa May pledge to defend workers’ rights – having voted at least seven times against doing just that. Political opportunism which makes her set on a granite Brexit likely to risk thousands of manufacturing jobs and force up prices – having been a (softly spoken) Remainer this time last year.
Political opportunism which means she does a deal with fox hunters to get them canvassing in return for repealing the hunting act.
Political opportunism which makes her claim she’ll get immigration down to the tens of thousands – having presided over total failure to control it while Home Secretary.
Political opportunism which pledges more money for the NHS – despite helping run our most loved institution into the ground.
This is a woman guided not by purpose, but by power.
Mrs May has been stalking around TV studios in recent weeks repeating her “strong and stable” line like a malfunctioning Dalek. But again it doesn’t mean anything. Strong and stable isn’t her personality or her passion.
Like fondness for Pride and Prejudice, it’s a construct she’s created to appease and deceive.
“Controlling, indecisive and brittle” might be a better assessment of her actual character, but she’s done a good job so far of keeping that hidden. Although I guarantee we’ll be seeing it all too clearly in her next term of leadership.
Then, if handed a thumping majority, she’ll be like Thatcher on acid.
Look, I totally get why many are nervous about voting Labour right now.
But anyone thinking of hitching their wagon to Mrs May’s strong stable should be nervous of that too.
Very nervous indeed.