SHOULD I ASK OUT GYM TEACHER?

Dear Coleen

I’m a 31-year-od gay man and suffer from the co-ordination disorder dyspraxia. I have now fallen for one of the new instructors at my gym where I go twice a week.

This guy is Portuguese and has lovely eyes. He always smiles at me, we make small talk and he remembers my name, but there are always other people around.

I don’t know if he’s just being professional, but I’m sure there’s a spark between us.

I’m not sure if he’s even gay, but I’d love to ask him out. My condition means I lack confidence, though, so I just don’t have the bottle to do it in case I make a fool of myself.

Could this develop into something deeper or would it be unprofessional from his viewpoint?

Coleen says

Sometimes friends can come in handy in these situations to test the water. Is there no one you can say to, “Look, I really like this guy, but I don’t know if he’s even gay or single. Can you make some discreet enquires?”

But I do think you need to be careful about reading too much into his smiles and the fact he remembers your name. He’s working in an environment where it’s part of his job to be polite and friendly to everyone who attends the gym.

Next time you speak to him, try to engage him in a longer conversation – ask him some questions about his life such as where he lives, where he likes to drink, if he’s made many friends since starting work, and so on. You can find out a lot about a person in just a few minutes.

Personally, I don’t think it’s crossing the line for him to have a relationship with someone who goes to his gym, although lots of people prefer to keep their work and personal lives separate.