STEPMUM GOES ON ABOUT HIS EX

Dear Coleen My boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half.

His stepmum doesn’t like me and when we go to visit her and his dad she talks about my boyfriend’s ex every chance she gets.

It didn’t bother me so much at the start, but lately she’s saying things like, “She is so good at that” or “Remember when the two of you did this? Your girlfriend now doesn’t do as much as your ex did”. She tells stories about this girl in front of the whole family when I’m there.

Recently we attended an event and his ex was there. His stepmum went over and took pictures with her, even though they haven’t seen each other in two years. Then she posted a huge thing on Facebook, saying how great she is and how much she misses her. Please help me get a bigger perspective. Am I overreacting? Coleen says Well, it sounds as if she’s being deliberately antagonistic and trying to stir up trouble. I think someone needs to confront her.

Your boyfriend should be the one to put a stop to it really if he knows how it’s affecting you. He needs to make it clear that he’s not getting back with his ex, he’s with you and she’s offending both of you with this behaviour.

He can’t dictate who his stepmum is friends with, but he can ask her not to talk about his ex when the two of you are there.

She needs to know you don’t want to hear about it.

And if he doesn’t want to speak to his stepmum directly, then he should confide in his dad and ask him to explain it to her.