MY REBOUND RELATIONSHIP’S NOT WORKING

Dear Coleen

Not long after I separated from my husband I met a really great man who wanted us to get together. I agreed because I liked him and I also felt lonely, but I guess I was in quite a vulnerable place.

We had fun together and partied a lot, but we started arguing when I’d had too much to drink. I began flirting with other men when we were out and on a few occasions I took things further and kissed another guy. I owned up straight away and my boyfriend forgave me, but deep down I know our relationship isn’t right. I’m not ready for another serious relationship and I don’t want to hurt him, as he’s a lovely person. What’s your advice?

Coleen says

I think it’s obvious that you didn’t give yourself enough time to come to terms with the breakdown of your marriage and get it out of your system. You’re in a classic rebound relationship.

It’s never easy to end a relationship and, yes, your boyfriend will be hurt but, in the long term, it’s worse to string him along when you know it’s going nowhere.

This relationship has helped you to move on from your marriage, but now you’re ready to move on again, and you really need to acknowledge that.

I understand you feel guilty about ending it after he’s been so supportive, but in your current state of mind you’ll carry on flirting with other guys because you’re not committed to him.

You’re simply not ready to settle down again.

It’s not easy, but you have to tell him the truth – explain you’re not in the right frame of mind to commit to anyone at the moment.