A zen hero & prize zeroes on a barking campaign
IN the most turbulent campaign for generations here are the election gongs for the biggest winners... and losers:
High Horse Award Tory throwback Nicholas Soames, Churchill’s grandson, wins two bags of manure for clip-clopping on a nag down the lanes of Sussex.
Man About The House Door-knocking Ed Miliband returning to the grassroots to cut a Doncaster woman’s lawn was slightly undercut by him struggling to start the mower.
Most Obvious Lie Theresa May for screeching “Nothing has changed” when her U-turn on social care changed everything, including her own credibility.
Broken Wooden Abacus Chancellor Philip Hammond knocking £20billion off HS2 and Jeremy Corbyn forgetting childcare costs added up to less than Diane Abbott’s expensive brain fade on her own police figures.
Best Backfiring Insult Professional idiot Boris Johnson calling Corbyn a “mutton-headed old mugwump” boomeranged when it resulted in favourable comparisons with wise Dumbledore in Harry Potter.
Cowardly Custard UKIP hardman fantasist Paul “Dr Nutty” Nuttall hiding in a cupboard to escape journalists.
Kennel Club Rosette Barking Lib Dem Tim Farron invited voters to “sniff my spaniel”. Is that legal?
Date with Destiny Emily Thornberry floored gung-ho Defence Secretary Michael Fallon on TV by quoting when he’d sucked up to murderous Syrian tyrant Bashar al-Assad.
Coolest Nickname Monsieur Zen for Corbyn, battered but staying chilled throughout the whole slog.
Closest Escape Daily Mirror chicken unruffled when grilled by police keeping the public away from May.