TRICKED MY HUBBY INTO THIRD CHILD

Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my husband for nine years and we have two children who are both now at school.

I’ve always wanted another child but my husband was never on board with it – he likes our family the way it is and wants to enjoy having more freedom to do other things now our kids are a bit older.

I know it’s bad but I stopped taking the contraceptive pill without telling him and got pregnant very quickly. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy when I told him, in fact he was so angry he’s barely said anything to me since and things are really stressful at home as a result.

I’m happy about the baby but how do I sort things out with my husband? I’ve told him I “probably” forgot to take the Pill on a couple of occasions but I can’t admit to planning it or it’ll just make things even worse.

Coleen says

Well, I don’t believe it’s ever right to trick someone into having a baby and, as you’re finding out, there are consequences.

It’s going to put a strain on your marriage and you might have to accept your husband is reluctant to be as involved as he was with your other two and he might not have much sympathy when you’re complaining about being tired!

But he’s not going to be able to keep up the silent treatment for ever. Hopefully, he’ll realise you have to get on and make the best of it for the sake of your family.

And I hope that when the baby arrives, it will change how he feels.

I think the only thing you can do is to get that across to him – that you’re sorry he’s not as happy as you are, but it’s happening and so you need to pull together.