The first time I put the costume on I span round and my boobs fell out! If I tried now I’d fall over
TV’S BELLA ON LIFE AS A COMEDY SUPERHERO
With her lasso of truth and bulletproof headband, she once whirled on to our TV screens in a blur of star-spangled hotpants and red boots.
But these days, this superhero has a bad case of gout, which has left her hobbling around on a walking stick.
Not, of course, the new Wonder Woman, Gal Gadot. No, for generations of Brits there was only one crimefighting female – Blunderwoman – and the lady who played her, Bella Emberg.
But she had to be persuaded to try the costume that led to her superstardom on 1980s Saturday night sketch show Russ Abbot’s Madhouse.
She says: “The first time I saw the costume I said: ‘I am NOT wearing that!’ ...anyway I did and the first time I put it on I span round and my boobs fell out! I was always very careful after that.
“Now my right leg’s gone and the left’s going. If I tried to spin round like Blunderwoman today, I’d probably fall over.
“A lot of people think I’m dead anyway,” adds tiny, chuckling 79-year-old Bella, after shuffling into her local pub in Wimbledon, South West London, wearing a plastic rainhood.
At the show’s peak, 18 million viewers saw Blunderwoman battling criminals alongside Cooperman, a mix of Superman and comedian Tommy Cooper, played by Russ Abbot.
She fears the gout, a form of arthritis believed to be brought on by over-indulgence, is a legacy of wilder showbiz days. “A lot of people say it’s the result of too much drink and I must admit in my time I’ve had quite a lot of booze,” says Bella.
But for the past 37 years, her life’s been supported by the comedy character who changed everything for her.
“Blunderwoman saved my career – and I still view her as a complete blessing,” says Bella. “After it ended in 1996 I couldn’t get work. I went for jobs and they’d say: ‘We’d love to hire you but you’re too well known with Russ’.”
But Bella still talks fondly of the show and stars who became friends, including Les Dennis and the late Dustin Gee.
“I never viewed her as some kind of curse,” she says. “They say in showbiz you get seven years of fame, well I got 16 because of her. Once every few weeks I go and look at that Blunderwoman costume – still hanging up at home – and I feel nothing but gratitude.”
Born in Brighton in 1937, she can still remember doodlebugs, Germany’s V-1 flying bombs, landing near her house in the Second World War.
From an early age she wanted to be an entertainer, making her professional debut in a summer season in
My right leg’s gone the other’s going . . . A lot of people think I’m dead
Ryde on the Isle of Wight at 25. She was eventually hired for small TV show roles by the likes of Les Dawson, Stanley Baxter and Benny Hill. But her breakthrough was joining Abbot’s show, which ran from 1980 to 1996. The criteria for joining was hardly flattering, however. “Russ said he was looking for a fat woman who could keep a straight face,” she says. “That was fine by me. I was a straight actress in my 40s struggling between jobs. “When I started on the Madhouse one person said to me: ‘The fat woman gags are wearing a bit thin’ and he told me I was likely to get the boot pretty soon. “I told Russ and he said: ‘Oh no
you’re not’. It was then that he came up with Blunderwoman.” She’d never seen Lynda Carter in the slick 1970s US TV series, still showing in the UK when Russ came up with his alternative. “It wasn’t malicious,” insists Bella, “And I think all this political correctness has gone too far these days. “I remember reading out my measurements for the costume. And Russ was rolling around laughing. I think my waist was about the same as my bust size.” The workload was intense and it took Bella twice as long to learn her lines because she had dyslexia, which was only diagnosed in her 50s. She never married or had children, saying she always put her career first. In the 1980s, her sacrifice paid off. As her profile grew with Russ Abbot’s Madhouse, she started getting other plum parts, joining the cast of Mel Brooks’ movie, History of the World – Part I. Bella’s still in touch with her old pal Russ, 69. But she says: “He was always the boss and I knew my place.” She was closer to the other big names in the show, Les Dennis and the late Dustin Gee. So when Dustin died of a heart attack in 1986, aged just 43, she was devastated. Bella says: “He’d burned the candle at both ends, having a wonderful time. We had a couple of rows about it, I told him to calm down, but he paid the price.”
She also says the loss affected his comedy partner, Les Dennis, now 63. By the time he died, the duo had their own BBC TV show, The Laughter Show.
“Les was in the wilderness for a couple of years.” says Bella. “If he’d lived, I think Dustin and Les would have been the biggest double act out. They would have been today’s Morecambe & Wise.
“And I don’t think Les’s first marriage would have broken up if he’d still been with Dustin. He would have got him on the straight and narrow.”
Instead Les broke up with first wife, Lynne Webster, in 1990 after 16 years.
Then in 1995 he married Amanda Holden, now 46, the Britain’s Got Talent judge who had a very public affair with actor Neil Morrissey before the couple divorced in 2003. Father-of-three Les has been married to Claire Nicholson, since 2009. “I loved his first wife, and I love his third wife. But Amanda...” says Bella. “She’s doing very well now...
“Amanda could charm anybody, she had that power.
“You could be in a room full of people, but if she was talking to you, you felt that you were the only person there. I don’t hate her, but I’m glad that Les has met Claire and they’re very happy now.”
Bella went on to land a lead role on children’s TV’s, Bear Behaving Badly, from 2007 to 2010.
But she won’t be dusting off the Blunderwoman costume again.
“I’m very proud of Blunderwoman, though I’m not sure where she fits into the whole Wonder Woman universe.
“I just hope the new girl in the movie makes as much of a success of the character and has as much fun as I did.”