BABY FEARS AFTER OUR HEARTBREAK

Dear Coleen

My partner and I have been trying for a baby, but we lost one at 12 weeks just over a year ago. It was the most heartbreaking time of our lives. We are worried if the next pregnancy is unsuccessful too we may never have children.

How do we go into this with a positive frame of mind? And is there anything we can do to improve our chances?

Coleen says

It’s right to acknowledge your loss and take the time you need to come to terms with it, but it shouldn’t stop you trying again.

This fact won’t stop you feeling heartbroken, but early miscarriage is very common – it happened to me and to two of my sisters – and most women do go on to have healthy babies. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t go into it positively once you’re ready. Naturally you’ll worry more those first few weeks, but speak to your GP if you need reassurance. The Miscarriage Association (miscarriageassociation.org.uk; helpline: 01924 200 799) can also help in terms of support and information.

I also think it’s important not to lose sight of the fact that you’re a couple and don’t let sex become all about making a baby. It’s important to relax and enjoy each other, and that’s a good place to start. Good luck.