When Toon’s Joe the Volcano erupted... with a swear word every SIX SECONDS

NINE YEARS ON, THE SUSPICION IS KINNEAR WAS PUT UP TO IT

THE swear-words came at a rate of one every six seconds for the first six minutes. Joe Kinnear in full flow, introducing himself to reporters in the most explosive press conference. Striding into the room at Newcastle’s training ground, he kicked off with: “Which one of you is Simon Bird?” “Me,” I answered. “You’re a c**t,” he fired back. “Thank you .... ” I said. That was the start of my most bizarre few days covering the ups and downs of Newcastle. And there have been a few. “What are you, my personal f ***** g secretary?” was another of Kinnear’s barbs when I asked why he had given United players several days off immediately after taking charge. “You ain’t got the balls to be a manager,” was another. “Slimy b ***** d,” and “Negative b ****** ” were among the others. Kinnear’s rant at me, for a headline he didn’t like, has become infamous.

It is a landmark for pottymouthed lunacy. The sort that usually remained behind closed doors or private between manager and journalist.

The difference this time was that we asked Kinnear if the confrontation was off the record. His response? “F ***** g print it.”

So we did. And with the advent of digital taperecorders, and emerging football websites, there was audio too. It broke all records on the Mirror website.

Reflecting on it nine years on, I still reckon Kinnear (below) was put up to it by the regime at Newcastle.

He was their hit-man. Owner Mike Ashley and MD Derek Llambias, who I later had a good relationship with, had taken a battering over Kevin Keegan’s departure.

Here was JFK redressing the balance. If the press could dish it out, Kinnear could give us some back.

It was also Kinnear lashing out at a lack of respect he thought he’d been shown when getting the Toon job, even though United players were amazed too.

Of course we were big enough to take a few swear words without too many hard feelings. But the episode did illustrate the pressure felt by managers, and summed up Newcastle in the early Ashley era.

The next morning, Radio 4’s flagship Today programme covered the story. The presenter neatly switched from the multibillion-dollar US bank bailout to sweary Newcastle boss Joe Kinnear!

John Humphrys was intrigued why such an exchange was published in the sports pages while similar behaviour by political spin doctors stayed behind closed doors.

But back to that initial eruption – Kinnear was visibly shaking as the rant ended and he calmed down.

“Any knocks, Joe .... ?” came the next question, deadpan, from a colleague.

Kinnear lasted a few months until struck down with heart trouble. But he was back as director of football once he recovered.

This time he was mangling the language in a new way: Yohan Cabaye became Yohan Kebab in a legendary radio interview. Charles N’Zogbia became N’Somnia. Llambias became Lambeezee.

Kinnear had a good career as a player and manager with Wimbledon and deserves respect for his achievements.

They shouldn’t be overshadowed by his misfortune at Newcastle, a job he should never have got.