AM I SABOTAGING MY LOVE LIFE?

Dear Coleen

I’m a gay man in my late-thirties, but I’ve never had a serious boyfriend. I’ve traipsed around many gay bars and tried online dating, but nothing has ever worked out.

For years, I didn’t really take care of myself because I had a stressful, all-consuming job – I was a bit overweight, unhealthy and balding slightly – but I’ve since lost weight, got fit and even had a hair transplant.

I’m looking pretty good and do get lots of attention when I’m out – even if I say so myself! However, I think there’s part of me that doesn’t actually want a serious relationship as I’ve been on my own for so long.

Could I be sabotaging my own love life? Why else would I find it so hard to meet Mr Right? Coleen says Perhaps deep down you are worried about being rejected, especially if you’ve struggled with self-confidence in the past.

If I were you, I’d just enjoy your new self and worry less about meeting Mr Right. I bet if you do that, you’ll instantly appear more attractive because you’re not bothered. That’s often the case. And you’ve got plenty of time on your side to meet someone – you’re hardly over the hill in your thirties.

Also, some of us don’t need a partner to be happy – I know plenty of single people who wouldn’t want to be tied down.