YOURHEALTH
Do you expect your partner to know what you’re feeling inside about something? A No, I accept he’s not a mind-reader B Yes, of course he should C Well, he should be able to guess about
the important things
Are you an only child? A No, I had two or more siblings B Yes C No, I had one sibling
Do you consider yourself a ‘flexible thinker’ who can see different sides to an argument or issue? A Yes, I pride myself looking at all angles B No, I find it hard to understand others’ viewpoints C Sometimes I’m good at seeing things another way
Does the use of social media cause stress between you? A No, our use of social media doesn’t affect us B Yes, because I/he can’t resist checking it C At times one of us gets annoyed by it To what degree does romance factor in your relationship? A We’re quite romantic B Nowhere nearly enough C At times I’d like more
Do you find it hard to let go of things? A No, I’m good at moving on from things B Yes, especially when he’s annoyed me C I’m pretty good at letting go of things
Have you ever been accused of being possessive or jealous? A No, I don’t have a problem with that B Guilty as charged C On a couple of occasions
Do you feel let down by your sex life? A No, we’re both satisfied by it B Yes, we have nowhere near enough
sex/my partner’s too demanding C There’s room for improvement
Do either of you prefer socialising more than the other? A No (or yes, but we’re on top of it) B Yes, it’s a big problem C Yes, sometimes it’s a problem Beware of the ‘script’ you live by In childhood, families designate scripts without realising it. If you were the so-called ‘baby’ of the family, you carry this into adult relationships. You might act more babyish than you realise. Get positive when you need to discuss differences, like his mothe being over-involved in your lives. Starting with a positive helps trick conversations. Break free of routine and agree t try something new (but don’t argue about what you’ll try!). It’s been shown that couples who try new things together have a more positi attitude about their relationship. Find the fun again. Being stuck i the same old routine kills off many relationships. Instigate date nights even if it’s just a romantic walk at local beauty spot. Be wise about how social media can become the third person in your relationship. When together, switch off your technology and tal Reintroduce physical contact if it’s lacking. Even hand-holding and cuddles can generate feelgood brain chemicals like oxytocin. Once reconnected physically through cuddles, ratchet up the foreplay. Send flirty messages during the day. Surprise your partner with something sexy for th bedroom. Or have fun looking through a sex guide together for new things to try. Forgiveness is key to preventing future trouble. If you harbour anger over some past ‘injustice’ your partn has committed, sit down and discu why it hurt you. Angry feelings swept under the carpet affect the rest of your relationship dynamics, so raise issues as they arise. For more information, call Relate o 0300 100 1234.