WE’RE IN LOVE BUT BOTH MARRIED

Dear Coleen

I have been having an affair with a married man for a while now and we both have children.

The spark isn’t there for either of us with our current partners. I know it sounds bad and I do feel awful, but we love each other.

We really don’t want to hurt our families, though, and because of this I don’t think that we will end up together.

The thing is, I’m so used to being with this man now I don’t know if I can ever let go of him.

He told me he married his wife and then realised he had nothing in common with her, and I feel like this is true of my situation. I don’t know what to do for the best.

Coleen says

If your marriage isn’t working an affair is never the answer. You either have to admit that to yourself and leave, or decide to put all your efforts into finding out if you can make it work and get that spark back.

The longer you carry on with this affair, the greater the chances are that someone will find out and your families will be devastated by the fallout.

How do you know this man doesn’t just want to have his cake and eat it, and all the time his get-out clause for not leaving his wife is that he doesn’t want to hurt his children?

I think if your marriages were so bad and you loved each other as much as you claim to, you would leave your partners and be together.

This isn’t a situation that can carry on indefinitely. If you really don’t want to risk people getting hurt, then stop the affair until you’ve decided what to do.