Ex-cessing herself

Sinitta has been telling vacuous bible OK! Magazine that Celebrity Big Brother keeps begging her to appear but is put off by her demands: Tequila, visitation rights for her puppy, no one being allowed to swear in her presence and a bodyguard to stand by her at all times – especially when she’s in bed.

I understand CBB’s reluctance, but I also get Sinitta’s demands. If I’d dated Simon Cowell, I too would need to spend the rest of my life swigging tequila, preferring to talk to a dumb animal, ensuring I never again heard screams of “who’s taken my **** ing hairdryer” and having a heavy ensure I spent every night alone.