ROW OVER DAUGHTER’S WEDDING DAY

Dear Coleen

My daughter is getting married soon and due to the enormous expense of her wedding, her grandfather has opted to assist with costs. She and I were not speaking for several years but recently, with the help of counselling, were able to reconcile. In the process she asked me to walk her down the aisle, which made us both happy.

However, upon hearing this, her grandfather told her he would not provide financial assistance if she went through with this plan.

I divorced my daughter’s mother (his daughter) years ago and she has since passed away. Her grandmother also died, leaving just her grandfather.

My daughter doesn’t want to rock the boat to lose his support, but it has left us both feeling very unhappy. I’m wondering whether I should even attend.

Coleen says Would it be worth you speaking to your former father-in-law and explaining how much it means to both you and your daughter?

If you haven’t seen or spoken to each other in years, perhaps you simply need to have a conversation and talk it out. It would be good if you could agree to put past issues behind you and focus on your daughter and her happiness.

If that tactic doesn’t work, then it’s really down to your daughter to make a decision about what’s most important to her on her big day. Her wedding sounds pretty extravagant – could she scale it down and do without the financial support from her grandfather?

However, I think you should absolutely attend the wedding, even if you and your daughter decide that, to keep the peace, you won’t walk her down the aisle. You can still be part of her day and you’ll always have those memories.