I’M A SLAVE TO MY PREGNANT WIFE

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for just a month and my wife is pregnant – and she constantly uses it as an excuse not to do anything.

She loves shopping and spending all our money day after day, but refuses to help around the house, cook or even look after her daughter, while I work 12-hour shifts every day.

She apologises all the time, saying she’s trying and it’ll get better, but before the pregnancy and marriage, she wasn’t like this at all.

Our sex life was also wonderful until our wedding night.

I keep telling her I feel down and how a little effort on her part would go a long way.

Right now, I feel stuck in a sexless marriage, exhausted from work and burnt out being mum and dad, as well as my wife’s personal butler.

Coleen says

I think you need to cut her some slack while she’s pregnant – she will be more tired than usual with her hormones all over the shop.

It sounds as if finding out about the pregnancy coincided with your marriage, so while you expected to be in newlywed heaven (lots of sex included), she’s now pregnant and doesn’t feel much like being intimate. Although that’s not to say she won’t get her sex drive back further into the pregnancy.

I think instead of nagging her, you need to have a proper honest conversation about how you feel and what you can each do at home to help the other. You need to work together as a team, not scurry off into your corners and become resentful of each other.

What else can you do in bed to please each other and keep the sexual connection? And what can she do to help you out that doesn’t make her feel tired or sick?

If you’re worried about money, then explain to her that you can’t sustain her level of spending. And listen to what she has to say, too.

Unless you start to work together and compromise, then it’s going to be even tougher when the baby comes along. The stress of a newborn can test even the strongest relationships, so if there are any cracks you need to work on fixing them now.