47 METERS DOWN
Cert 15 Running time 85 minutes ★★
Last year The Shallows was a breakout box office hit despite being no more than a face off between a shark and a bikini-clad girl.
This British survival horror riffs on the same format by doubling up on the peril, but more than halving the thrills and fun.
It plunges us straight into the action, with Mandy Moore and Claire Holt playing sisters on holiday at a Mexican beach resort.
As the captain of a charter boat, Matthew Modine appears in a pirate’s bandana which screams ‘don’t trust me’. Looking for adventure, the girls end up trapped in a rusty iron cage on the sea floor 47 metres below the surface.
Circled by hungry sharks, the dim airheads are suffering from a shortage of oxygen, an over abundance of terrible dialogue and preposterous plotting. Their characters lack any, er, depth, and one of them has a nasty gash.
And despite their huge size, even the sharks lack bite.