A woman Doctor? Whatever next?

You wait ages for a picture of a woman in front of some foliage and then two come at once . . . Jodie Whittaker is the new Doctor Who

There has been some kerfuffle about Doctor Who, the popular television series about the character Doctor Who, replacing its lead actor, Peter Capaldi, who plays the character Doctor Who, with Jodie Whittaker, who is a woman.

It is not for us at Dave to offer an opinion on the casting, save to say that there is no way the TARDIS will be well lit if the new Doctor Who (for that is the character’s name) is from Yorkshire. She will be all, “Turn t’big light off”, and, “Eh? Do you think I’m made of sonic screwdrivers? Put Three women and a Lady Stig show how you can be both witty and ace at driving without being sacked for having a big gob. Shares in ill-fitting blue jeans and garish shirts fall sharply. Arctic Monkeys on. Or Pulp.”

All we will say is this. If you are happy to accept a television show featuring a 2,000-year-old from another planet, who defends the earth and the rest of the universe from alien threats in a time-travelling police box that is bigger on the inside, and who can change his entire body whenever he is mortally wounded, then you should be prepared to accept that body could be a woman’s. It is literally the least unbelievable part of the whole business.

Even humans can change gender these days. Unthinkably, you’d have to replace Stephen Fry with a woman, which is– oh, hang on a minute, Sandi Toksvig already filled Fry’s brainy shoes last year, and the world hasn’t exploded. As you were. Eamonn Holmes, Adrian Chiles, Richard Madeley, and Dane Bowers sit awkwardly around a desk interviewing minor celebrities, trying their best not to go all “Accidental Partridge”.