LOVER SPITS ON ME DURING SEX

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend is sweet, sensitive and loving.

However, things are completely different in the bedroom. He slaps me, spits on me and calls me a whore.

I think he’s copying pornography.

I told him I really don’t like him spitting on me and a few days later he said, as if I was in the wrong, that he’d looked on a forum and it said girls love it during sex.

It’s got to the point where I avoid sex completely because I really don’t enjoy it. It doesn’t feel like being made love to and it does nothing for me.

What can I do? He is absolutely perfect in every other way, but I really can’t carry on with our sex life like this.

Coleen says

You have to remain strong and adamant that it’s not how you want to be treated. Explain that you don’t care what forums say on the matter – if he wants to be with you then that kind of sex is off limits. Tell him very clearly that you don’t want to have sex with him at all if he can’t acknowledge that.

It’s a huge problem these days because lots of young men have got their sexual “education” via porn sites.

It’s unrealistic fantasy sex, but if you’ve spent your teenage years watching it then you might think it’s normal.

You could try taking more control by telling him and showing him what you like and how you want be treated. But you might have to accept that while he’s perfect in every other way, it doesn’t work in the bedroom.

And you shouldn’t be with him if he doesn’t respect you enough to take your feelings into account.