RONSEALED IT FOR ME, HELEN

My admiration for Helen Mirren never ceases to grow, even though it suffered a bit of a dip when she accepted her Damehood.

Sitting on a L’Oreal panel, as a brand ambassador, she said using a moisturiser she’s paid handsomely to promote: “Probably does f*** all.”

How L’Oreal react now the game is up is anyone’s guess but my advice would be go for self-deprecating humour.

Get Helen to do a new line of ads based on Ronseal, where she stands in the rain, cream running down her face, looking every day of her 72 years, and saying: “It does f*** all like it says on the tin.”