HE TREATS OUR KIDS DIFFERENTLY

Dear Coleen

I have a child from a previous relationship and so does my partner, who I’ve been with for three years.

The problem is, he doesn’t treat the children the same and wants it to be just him and his daughter when she comes to visit.

I see this as an issue because I treat both children equally.

How can we sort this out so we’re both happy? It’s the one issue that spoils things.

Coleen says

I agree that if you’re in this for the long haul then you need to start operating more as a unit and pull together to support the children.

I’m assuming your child lives with you while his daughter lives with her mother, so it could be that he’s just very aware of that fact and wants to spend as much one-on-one time with her as possible.

He probably feels guilty that he’s not with his daughter all the time so is trying to make up for it. I think a good way to move forward would be for you to agree on an itinerary when his daughter visits, which involves him spending some time with her on his own, as well as organising things that you can all do together.

I’m sure the kids enjoy spending time with each other.

So rather than give him a hard time about it, approach it positively with some ideas on how you can all be happy when his daughter is staying with you.

You don’t say in what ways he treats the children differently, but if this is a sensitive area for you, then bring it up with him.

He might not realise he’s doing it or how it’s affecting you and your child.