GYM-LOVING HUBBY DIGS ABOUT SIZE

Dear Coleen

I’m a 39-year-old woman and I struggle with my weight. I have been married for 21 years and my husband loves going to the gym. He’s always on my back to lose weight but I just can’t do it. I quickly lose interest in a healthy diet and exercise.

I know he loves me, but sometimes when he’s feeling down he will become mean and say things about my weight that hurt. But I can’t motivate myself and think I need help or I might lose him. He says when he’s at the gym he see fit girls and thinks “Why can’t my wife be like that?” and it makes him angry. Any advice?

Coleen says

First of all, lose the weight for yourself not because your husband is bullying you. You should tell him that his negative comments do nothing to motivate you, but in fact do the opposite. He’s not helping; he’s battering your self-esteem.

If he’s such a gym expert, why doesn’t he help you get fit? Why doesn’t he invite you to the gym or work out a programme with you? This would be far more positive.

You’re not alone in struggling with motivation – it’s why so many of us can’t stick to the gym or an eating plan. But if you can’t find support from your husband, then find it elsewhere – join up with some friends to work out or go walking, or sign up to a slimming club. Having the friendship and support of others makes a difference. You’re more likely to stick to a plan because you won’t want to let others down.

It’s also extra hard at the beginning of any weight-loss plan because it feels like you have a mountain to climb but once you start seeing results, it spurs you on to keep going.

Final bit of advice – think about whether your marriage needs a make-over, too. Your hubby’s attitude stinks!