DAUGHTER IS RUDE TO MY MUM

Dear Coleen

My five-year -old daughter isn’t keen on my mum, which makes it really awkward and embarrassing when we visit my parents. She loves my dad to bits and they have a great relationship, but she is just mean to my mum, even though my mum goes out of her way to do things with her and buy her lovely gifts. And she’s also a brilliant help when it comes to babysitting.

I suspect my daughter might be a bit jealous of my relationship with my mum as we’re very close. Any ideas on how I can sort this out?

Coleen says Yes, she could be jealous of the bond you share with your mum and also of her gran and granddad’s relationship. She wants to be top girl and for everyone to focus their attention on her, and she’s taking it out on her gran.

I don’t think you should pander to it and have words with her if she’s rude or nasty to your mum. Also, maybe your mum should back off a bit and not indulge her so much with treats and gifts. And when your daughter wonders why she’s suddenly not getting all these nice things, then you can tell her it’s because if she’s not nice and polite to her gran, then she doesn’t deserve treats from her.

Perhaps the three of you could also spend some time doing nice things together to strengthen the bond. I think it’s probably an age thing, too, and your daughter won’t behave like this when she’s a bit older.