A season of blissful freedom or time in the slammer? Let’s have the verdict of good cop/bad cop..
FOR those wishing all summer for a little less conversation and a little more action, the time has come.
As of tomorrow, the Premier League dominates the agenda, meaning this is a tense time for fans of all its clubs, with any experts claiming to know how it will pan out clearly a Donald Trump-scale liar.
Before last season, the BBC asked 33 of its top pundits, presenters, journalists and commentators to name the champions – and only three picked Chelsea. Their combined choice of top four was Manchester City, Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal, which was way out.
So I won’t kid you I’m any better at seeing the future.
Instead, I’ll play good cop/bad cop, looking at the reasons your team could sentence you to nine months of blissful freedom or nine months in the slammer after doing criminal damage to your health. Plus my hunch on whether they’ll finish higher, lower or in the same place as last season. ARSENAL GOOD COP: No Champions League, so their season isn’t guaranteed to implode when they are knocked out, Alexandre Lacazette could finally be their fox in the box and so far they have kept all their key players. BAD COP: Alexis Sanchez may still go, Europa League Thursdays could be life-sapping and the Wenger Out planes are still on the runway. BOURNEMOUTH GOOD COP: They kept Eddie Howe and Josh King, added Asmir Begovic between the sticks and Jermain Defoe in the hope there is one more Indian summer
season in him. BAD COP: Defensive doubts continue and last season’s ninth position may be an overachievement they will struggle to match. BRIGHTON GOOD COP: With Chris Hughton in charge plus an inspirational back story, there will be plenty of goodwill to see them survive and it will be everyone’s favourite away trip. BAD COP: With a lack of goals and top-flight nous, those trips to the seaside could turn out to be easy pickings for visitors. BURNLEY
GOOD COP: Feel-good factor of consecutive top-flight seasons for first time since 1974/75, Sean Dyche is a canny boss and Turf Moor is a tough place to visit.
BAD COP: Losing Michael Keane was a blow – and losing Andre Gray is another one – but if Dyche was tempted to leave mid-season, it could be fatal. CHELSEA GOOD COP: No team will be harder to beat or do better business before the window closes.
BAD COP: No Diego Costa, question marks about Alvaro Morata’s integration and Eden Hazard repeating last season’s heroics, plus a Champions League challenge may see a downturn in results and Antonio Conte losing it. CRYSTAL PALACE GOOD COP: If Christian Benteke and Wilfried Zaha hit top gear, they have the potential to terrorise defences. BAD COP: Frank de Boer vowing to tear up Sam Allardyce’s defensive mantra and turn Palace into a cross between Ajax and Barca overnight could easily backfire.
EVERTON GOOD COP: They have splashed the cash like never before, the Prodigal Son has returned, their young England players excelled this summer and Evertonians believe again. BAD COP: They are yet to replace the men who scored half of last season’s goals, Romelu Lukaku and the departing Ross Barkley. HUDDERSFIELD GOOD COP: Under David Wagner, there is a feisty self-belief and they were quick to bring in plenty of new signings.
BAD COP: The loss of keeper Danny Ward, the lack of quality firepower and the experience of established sides in the relegation dogfight could make this a one-season visit. LEICESTER CITY GOOD COP: The pressure of being champions and playing in the Champions League have gone and there have been a couple of cute buys. BAD COP: Pre-season form doesn’t bode well and Craig Shakespeare may prove too prosaic for fans who tasted glory with flamboyant Claudio Ranieri. LIVERPOOL
GOOD COP: In Mo Salah and Sadio Mane they have a Road Runner on each wing, striker Daniel Sturridge has the World Cup in Russia to aim for and the youngsters are progressing nicely. BAD COP: If they do not sign Virgil van Dijk or another top-class centre-back, expect many more vital leads to be tossed away. MANCHESTER CITY GOOD COP: The real Pep Guardiola will emerge, having built his own squad, after spending enough cash to step in and electrify
the BAD Manchester-LeedsCOP: The sum of railway £160million line. has full-backsbeen – spentbut nothingon a keeperon centraland defence, MANCHESTERwhich needed improving.UTD GOOD COP: It’s a Jose Mourinho second season, Nemanja Matic should free Paul Pogba and Romelu Lukaku should fill his boots. BAD COP: Is the squad strong enough for European and Premier League campaigns and will Jose’s pragmatic style win over fans more used to attacking verve? NEWCASTLE UTD GOOD COP: Rafa Benitez knows how to organise a team to compete at the highest level. BAD COP: The Spaniard does not hang around at a club where the owner doesn’t give him the cash to succeed at that level. Over to you, Mike Ashley. SOUTHAMPTON GOOD COP: Claude Puel’s dour defensive football, which turned St Mary’s into a morgue, has passed and so far there has been no theft of their finer stars. BAD COP: Not a great transfer window and, if Virgil van Dijk goes, there are few top-class talents left to be stolen. STOKE CITY
GOOD COP: Mark Hughes is still a decent manager and Saido Berahino has to snap out of his awful run of form.
BAD COP: The loss of experienced characters, such as striker Jon Walters and Glenn Whelan, plus Marko Arnautovic to West Ham, could lead to a poor start for the Potters and the natives becoming restless.
SWANSEA CITY GOOD COP: After last season’s great escape act, Paul Clement looks to be the man who can keep them safe again. BAD COP: No new defenders despite second-worst record last season, Gylfi Sigurdsson’s assists likely to disappear and too much reliance up front on a young Chelsea loanee. TOTTENHAM
GOOD COP: Great manager, great first XI and, in Harry Kane, Dele Alli and Christian Eriksen, three players who would make every Fantasy League team. BAD COP: Quiet transfer window so far and a possibility that Chas ’n’ Dave may soon be singing “Spurs are on their way to Wembley, Tottenham’s gonna blow it again”. WATFORD GOOD COP:: In Marco Silva, a coach who looked decent at Hull City, even though relegated, and will be all the better for having Premier League experience. BAD COP: Pressure on new strikers to be instant hits as they can’t keep relying on Troy Deeney for goals. WEST BROM GOOD COP: Tony Pulis guarantees, no matter how poor a second half of the season they have, they will stay up. BAD COP: Tony Pulis guarantees, no matter how good a first half of the season they have, he will still bore fans into a coma. WEST HAM GOOD COP: Excellent transfers – Javier Hernandez, Marko Arnautovic, Pablo Zabaleta and Joe Hart – and a top boss in Slaven Bilic. BAD COP: Woeful substitute for the old Boleyn Ground is not going away.