HUBBY PORN IS GIVING ME A COMPLEX

Dear Coleen

My problem is a little embarrassing. The other night I was looking in my husband’s work bag for a pen and found a few porn magazines that were all dedicated to women with huge breasts. Which would be fine, except my own are tiny. In fact, my body type couldn’t be more different as I’m slim and athletic.

I’ve now got a complex that he doesn’t find me physically attractive and he’d rather be with someone who’s really curvaceous with enormous breasts.

I don’t want to ask him, as it feels silly and embarrassing, plus he’ll think I’ve been going though his personal stuff. What do you think – am I overreacting?

Coleen says

Yes, I think you are. But I get a lot of letters from women who’ve found their partner looking at porn and who feel threatened by it, and take it really personally. These magazines are all about fantasy, and the images are airbrushed to hell – it’s not real. It’s an instant visual fix.

Your husband isn’t thinking he wants to have a relationship with one of those women.

But if you can’t get it off your mind, then just drop into conversation: “By the way, I saw your mags the other day when I was looking for a pen – are you trying to tell me something about the size of my breasts?”

It sounds as if you just need a bit of reassurance and I’m sure there will be lots of it if you bring it up. The bottom line is, if he wanted to be with someone with a different body shape, I’m sure he could be, but he’s with you because he loves all of you.

You might look at a guy with a six-pack in a mag and find him attractive, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love the person you’re with.