KIDS SAY I’M FOOL TO HAVE TOY BOY
Dear Coleen
I’m 62 and got divorced for the second time two years ago. I have a grown-up son and daughter who have families of their own. I’ve recently started a relationship with my builder, who is 31. He’s just got divorced and has two young daughters.
He’s funny, lovely and we have a great time together. When I mentioned this to my children they were absolutely horrified and told me I was making a fool of myself.
They also questioned what this man sees in me and implied it’s my money. But I don’t have any to give him. We’re really happy, but my children can’t seem to get their head around the age gap.
What do you think I should do – end the relationship to keep my kids happy or risk falling out with them over this new man?
Coleen says
I think you should tell them to mind their own business. They’re grown up and have lives of their own, and they should let you have a life of your own in return. Instead, they’re just treating you like an idiot.
You’re only 62 and you know what you’re doing. Yes, 30 years is a big gap, but I think this relationship sounds fabulous for you. After the stress of two divorces, I’m sure he’s making you feel attractive and sexy. I’d understand their concern more if you were loaded. But even if you were, it’s your money. Going forwards, maybe don’t flaunt this relationship in front of them. But if they do say anything, just tell them you enjoy spending time with him and that you deserve a bit of happiness. All I would say is to remember it may come to nothing, so just treat it quite lightheartedly and don’t pin any hopes on getting married or spending the rest of your life together.
Maybe speak to this guy to see if it is just fun or if he thinks you have a future (if you want one that is). I’d hate for you to get wrapped up in thinking this could be for life if he’s just having fun. If you were my mum I wouldn’t want you to get hurt, but at the same time I’d want you to have some fun and enjoy some happiness after everything you’ve been through.