MY TEEN GIRL IS NOW DATING A MAN OF 38

Dear Coleen

My daughter is 18 and has just started going out with a man of 38. He’s never been married, doesn’t have any children and he seems really nice.

However, I can’t quite get my head around the fact he’s 20 years older than her and only five years younger than me and her dad. I’ve tried talking to her about it but she just tells me I’m worrying about nothing and says it’s not a big deal. But I can’t help thinking it is.

After all, if they were to get married and have children in the future he’d be such an old dad. I’m also worried that he’s got to 38 and has never married or had children – would that ring alarm bells for you?

What do you advise?

Coleen says

You’re overthinking this. Firstly, maybe he’s just never met the right girl until he met your daughter. And maybe you’d feel a whole lot worse about him if he’d been married and divorced several times before and had five kids. So the fact he’s 38 and single, in this day and age, isn’t a big deal at all.

Also, she’s only 18 so the chances of her actually marrying this guy and spending her life with him are pretty slim.

After all, most girls of 18 today don’t go on to marry the boyfriends they have in their teens. The more you go on about this the more you’re going to annoy her and push her away.

So just leave them be and trust that the right thing will happen in the end, whether that’s them staying together for ever and being blissfully happy or – far more likely – them breaking up in a year or two.

Being a parent is all about allowing our children to make their own choices and their own mistakes.