SHOULD I GIVE UP ON MY DAD?

Dear Coleen

I’m wondering whether I should give up trying to have a relationship with my dad. He had an affair with a younger woman and doesn’t really make an effort with me, so I feel like I’m getting nowhere.

I think this new woman has a hold over him. He does all sorts of activities with her kids and they post it all over social media, saying things like “family time”.

And every time she sees us out and about she behaves as if she thinks what she’s done is hilarious. Should I just accept that she has won him away from his family? Please help.

Coleen says

It’s a sad situation and I feel for you. I think your dad is probably having a moment of reliving his teenage years with his younger girlfriend and he’s not thinking about the effect on other people close to him.

I’d tell him you want to talk to him (just the two of you) and explain that while he’s free to live his life as he chooses, you want him to know that you feel let down. You should also explain that it’s hard to see those posts on social media – make him think about his behaviour. Tell him it’s not fair to rub your nose in it all over social media, and it makes you feel hurt and unloved.

As for his girlfriend, I think her behaviour probably shows that she’s actually pretty insecure about her relationship with him.