BABY FORCED PARTNER OUT OF OUR BED

Dear Coleen

I have been with my partner for seven years and we have a little girl of 16 months who rules the house.

It’s hard work but I wouldn’t change her for the world. However, there is no time for us – my partner has even been sleeping in the baby’s room because our daughter is in with me, so we haven’t slept together for more than six months.

I don’t know what to do about it – any tips would be appreciated.

Coleen says

I get that in the middle of the night when you’re tired it seems easier to let your baby sleep in bed with you if she won’t settle, but in the long term it doesn’t work.

Even if you’re up through the night for two weeks you have to put her back down in her own bed.

At the moment, she knows if she cries, she can sleep with mummy.

But it’s amazing how quickly she will get into a new routine – you just have to enforce it every night.

I think you have to sort that problem out before you can start behaving as a couple again.

If she’s crying, console her, but not by bringing her into your bed – do it by going into her room.

You can also soothe her through a baby monitor when she starts to cry – my granddaughter has one.

Changing their routine is always tough, but those stages do pass so long as you don’t give in.

Remember to have a strict going-to-bed routine too – such as bath, story, cuddle, lights out.