Coleen says

I think it is a common thing. I know so many people who say their parents do so much for a sibling, but not for them.

It’s often down to parents often taking it for granted one child is capable and managing well, so they focus their attention on the one who has a history of being troublesome and needing help. All the attention goes to that child, even when they’re an adult and have kids of their own.

I don’t think it’s your sister’s fault – it’s down to your mum. But she might not realise she’s causing this rift, so make her aware of it (without being angry or accusatory). Listen to what she has to say too.

And why not have a word with your sister? Say you feel awful and that it’s making you resent her as you feel you’re missing out on support with the kids.

It’s never easy to approach these subjects – especially if your family is quite closed off emotionally – but sometimes the only answer is some direct (but calm) communication.