CHEATING HAS RUINED MY LIFE

Dear Coleen

I’m 54 and I split up with my husband more than 15 years ago after he caught me cheating. He was heartbroken when he found out and for a long time he would have taken me back but I thought I had moved on.

Now he’s been married to a much younger woman for five years and they have a child. He doesn’t see our child any more and I can’t help feeling jealous that he’s happy with his new family, while I’m alone and drinking too much.

I also have another child with the man I cheated on him with and she seems to hate me too. Why did I ruin my life?

Coleen says

I haven’t got the answer to why you cheated – it must have seemed a better option at the time and you didn’t consider the potential consequences.

Stop wondering why and stop living in the past – the fact is, it happened and all you can do is learn from it and try to move on.

We’re all human, we all make mistakes and have regrets, but I think it’s time you stopped beating yourself up over something that happened 15 years ago. You’re not a bad person and you still have a good life ahead of you, which you can fill with positive things and new friendships if you choose.

You don’t say why your ex doesn’t see your child, but any anger you have for each other should never be taken out on the child. Trying to build bridges between your child and your ex would be a positive step.

Focus on being a good mum and find something positive to help you relieve stress – alcohol isn’t the answer.

Your ex has moved on and you should move on too.