No rap sheet for me

Daily Mirror - - NEWS -

Here’s some­thing I’ve been mulling over all week: if I did some­thing crim­i­nal, such as stamp on my sons’ fin­gers, to pre­vent them us­ing so much damn loo roll (it’s costly, af­ter all, as well as a mas­sive pain to lug home from the su­per­mar­ket), would I be con­sid­ered ‘too clever to be jailed’ like ‘bril­liant’ Ox­ford stu­dent Lavinia Wood­ward, who stabbed her boyfriend in a drug­fu­elled rage?

No, is the an­swer to that. In which case I won’t break their fin­gers. I’ll ra­tion the loo rolls in­stead.

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