MUM HATES MY FIANCÉE

Dear Coleen

My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for nine months, although we’ve actually known each other since we were four and in the same class at infant school. When I was eight, my parents moved me to a private school so we grew up with different friends. We bumped into each other in a bar in our home town, hit it off immediately and we’ve been together ever since.

It’s all great, apart from the fact my mum doesn’t like her. Well, she hasn’t really bothered to get to know her. My girlfriend’s mum has a bit of a reputation in the town for running off with other women’s husbands and my mum knew her from school and didn’t like her.

She seems to assume my girlfriend will take after her mum, which is ridiculous. Her mother is actually really nice and was delighted when we announced we were engaged – unlike my own mother who’s barely mentioned it since. Do you have any advice?

Coleen says I think your mum is being unreasonable and a little snobbish – she obviously doesn’t think this girl is good enough for her son! But you clearly see your future with her, so your mum will just have to get used to it I’m afraid.

And, in essence, that’s really what you have to say to her.

Tell her you’d like her to make the effort to get to know your fiancée properly because there is going to be a wedding and you’d like her to be happy about it.

It’s very shortsighted of your mum to base her opinion of your fiancée on what her mother was like 20 or 30 years ago. And I’m sure if she did spend some time with her, she’d like her and begin to see in her what you do.

Try not to let your mum’s miserable attitude kill your buzz!