On September 15, 2015 in London I took back control of my life, it was the moment Frank Bruno was reborn
ing the fool. Back in panto. I wasn’t. s clinging on to the wheelchair to on my feet. y hip had gone – I heard a bone pop d it was hurting like hell. My body, my mind, was breaking down. hould have walked away. But I had eep moving. he rest of the race is a blur, I ember the relief when I got over the hing line, but when I looked up at clock I was furious. I’d got nowhere r the time I wanted. I didn’t want to k around a second longer. t it was the moment I knew I actu-couldn’t keep running any longer. following day, I called my children told them I needed help and I ught it would be best if I went back hospital. s. I said those words. “I need help. I d to go into hospital.” I made one mand – I didn’t want to go in by ulance. I wanted to walk in and out on my terms. I was willing to surrender, but I wasn’t prepared to lose my dignity.
When the doctors sat me down they didn’t hold back.
“Frank, this isn’t good. For a start, when was the last time you slept?” the doctor asked.
I thought for a moment, until the silence became uncomfortable. I had to admit: “I’m not too sure, sir.”
He made clear it wasn’t just my mind that had been racing. It was my heart too. Training left me a physical wreck.
“At your age Frank,” he said. “If you carry on putting your body through all this stress and strain you are going to end up having a stroke, a heart attack or both.”
Each time I broke down, I was moving another step closer to the end. That’s how serious things had become.
I had my head in my hands. If I didn’t make damned sure this was the last time I ended up in hospital I was putting my life in danger. Coming to terms with my illness was now a matter of life and death. After six weeks in hospital, Frank was able to leave. Weeks later, he officially announced his retirement from boxing amid reports he was planning a return to the ring. His focus, instead, was on beating his demons for good.
He accepted more support around him, worked with doctors to slowly reduce the medication he was on and made lifestyle changes. He’s now confident, he’s a stronger man today. IT has been 182 days since my last doctor’s appointment. That’s how I deal with my illness now. Day by day. Step by step. Never forgetting what happened in the past, but learning from it. I’ve now been medication-free for 18 months and my head has never felt clearer. And that is the best thing about my recovery – getting my life back. Managing stress levels is important in keeping my bipolar under control.
I have spent a lot of time investing in my happiness and being kinder to myself, and I have put a good team of people around me. My agent Dave and PA Carmen have been vital in turning my life around.
It took so long for the doctors to agree that I was better off without the meds. I’m now in control of my condition. I’ve learned to spot the signs of my illness and I am no longer afraid to ask for help.
I am human. I do cry. I have good days and I have bad days.
I worry sometimes that if people see me having a bad day then they will think I’m having another breakdown.
But I’m not going to allow myself to fall again. I have a different suit for every day of the week. I have a nice car, a nice house, money in the bank. But now I have something money can’t buy. I have peace of mind. I don’t want to die and end up being known as that bloke who kept getting sectioned.
I’ll never let my illness beat me. Now I have my freedom back I do not plan to throw it away.
Let Me Be Frank is available from Mirror Books at the exclusive offer price of £15, saving £5, on orders placed by October 19, including free delivery*. Visit mirrorcollection.co.uk or call 0845 143 0001. *UK only.
Extracted by DAN WARBURTON
features@ mirror.co.uk