Salt & vinegar to go? Packet in

“Noooooo,” yelled my seven-year-old son in the supermarket last week, with all the anguish of a martyr being sent to his death.

“What now?” his sister and I snapped in unison.

“Salt & Vinegar crisps. They’re going to be replaced with Lime & Black Pepper unless enough people vote for them. It’s a disaster. Give me your phone mum, we’ve got to vote NOW.”

His sister, 10, glanced at him with a look of total contempt she has perfected with extensive practice.

“Don’t be a total idiot,” she replied. “Of course they’re not going to get rid of salt and vinegar crisps. It’s an obvious advertising ploy to get you talking about crisps, spending more pocket money on buying them and stuffing yourself with more of them. Sucker.”

So that’s what growing up in a material world teaches you...