I’M DREADING TURNING 50

Dear Coleen

I will be 50 in a few months and I lie awake at night worrying about it. It may sounds stupid, but I don’t think I’ve achieved enough and I don’t know where I’m going.

I have a divorce behind me and one grown-up daughter, who’s at university.

Most of my friends are married or in long-term relationships, so I don’t see much of them.

My colleagues are mostly a lot younger, so I don’t really socialise with them. I’ve tried online dating and clubs to meet men, but I’ve never met anyone who’s been a serious contender for romance.

Is it all too late for me?

Coleen says

Um, no. I’m 52 and I’m certainly not about to cash in my chips and sit by the fire in a tartan dressing gown for the rest of my life.

I understand that fear, though. I had similar feelings around 50, mostly because I started feeling redundant at home. My daughter was growing up and becoming a lot more independent and my sons had already left home.

And I struggled a bit to accept they all needed me less. So I think your 50s can be an adjustment, but they’re not the end of everything.

Your letter is pretty negative and you seem so down on yourself, so that’s probably how you’re coming across to new people. But you’ve got a job, a daughter who’s doing great, friends (even if you don’t see them a lot) and you don’t have to answer to anyone. This is a good foundation for your 50s and beyond.

These days, 50 is young, so don’t waste time worrying about it – live it. Throw a party, make plans for the year ahead and be more proactive when it comes to arranging things with friends.