STRUGGLE TO BE GAY SINCE SPLIT

Dear Coleen

I’m a 21-year-old gay man. Recently, my first boyfriend left me after a year together and I’m devastated. It was my first gay relationship and, because I felt happy and secure with him, I had the confidence to come out to my good friends and family.

But now I’m on my own again, I’m really struggling and feel lonely, especially as all my gay friends are his too, and we’re staying away from each other.

My straight friends have been amazing, but I’m just finding it hard to be gay right now. Any words of wisdom?

Coleen says

Whether you’re gay or straight, the first time your heart gets broken, it hurts like hell.

It’s true that the first cut is the deepest. It’s a cliche, but it just takes a bit of time to heal and get back in the swing of things.

Your relationship was good while it lasted and it helped you to come out and be who you really are, so appreciate it for what it gave you and move on.

And you should be able to move on feeling more confident and stronger in yourself. You have some good mates, so why not just focus on going out with them and having some fun?

You’re a young guy and have plenty of time for serious relationships.

And there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to pick up with your gay friends. Your ex doesn’t have exclusive rights over them.